The Queen Bee

Am I the only one?

2009-01-17T15:30:00.001-08:00

I started back to work last week after a couple months off due to several surgeries. I was absolutely excited to get back into the groove of things (truth be had I love my Job!) But I now find myself totally stressed out and grouchy. I do 12 hours shifts, four on and four off, two days and two nights, when I am on days off I find myself, cleaning like a mad women, doing 12 loads of laundry, organizing, paying bills, working on my husbands book work, grocery shopping, baking, cooking and the list really does go on. I am realising that I am not the person I want to be on my days off. I want to let myself not be so stressed out if there are crumbs on the carpet, or if the husband and kids didn't do the cleaning to my standards. I want to enjoy my family more, play some games, read to Peyton, catch up on the four days I missed. My goal is to be less selfish and really enjoy life! I am sure the laundry will not run away and the crumbs on the floor will not take up a life of their own. I am extremely blessed to have a healthy beautiful family, a roof over our head and a job I truly enjoy.

Christmas morning

2008-12-27T10:54:00.000-08:00

I had 18 family members over for Christmas Eve. We had snacks, played some games, had a drink or two and chatted.

This was the first year that "Santa" was not up till 2am putting together toys made in China. It was nice to be in bed by midnight.

In previous years the kids would wake us up around 6 am Christmas morning but not this year. Everyone "slept in" till 7:30, even my mom was surprised when she called at 7:40 to see how our Christmas was going and I said " Well, I am just grabbing a cup of tea and then we will open our presents!" I actually had to go into Peyton's room and wake her up! Guess she was all played out from the previous night.

We finally got wood on the fire, a cup of tea and the video camera out and the chaos had begun!

It took nearly an hour to unwrap all the gifts and in the end we all got totally spoiled. It was only 8:30 and it felt like it was time to have a nap! So exhausting, but the day goes on...

Peyton turns 4

2008-12-27T10:42:00.000-08:00

Well it happened. She had the party! She had invited 10 or so children for an afternoon of snacks, games, snowman cake and pure fun.

The time went by quickly and the children were all so well behaved- I could not believe it.

It was a busy day as the Christmas concert at the Elementary school was that evening. With the party came a ton of sweets and over stimulation, we were concerned about Peyton being able to sit through the concert. It turns out she didn't have the ants in her pants that I had anticipated.... she sat quietly with a friend of mine and watched the entire performance.

Snowman~

2008-12-18T09:39:00.000-08:00

Our baby girl turned 4 years old on the 13th of December and we spent the day and the night in the city. We went shopping, visited Santa, went to the Theater to watch "Bolt" and even went swimming at our hotel room - What an exhausting day!

Because we were away for her "real" Birthday we decided to have a party with her friends later that week. I had asked Peyton "What kind of cake should we make?" At first she said she wanted a Dora cake , but then I reminded her that we made a Dora cake last year. We came up with a few other idea's until we settled on the Snowman. It turned out to be an all day project! I had to make 3 batches of icing!

Well the party is today and then the poor snowman will be hacked into little pieces to feed the small army we have invited! I better go and finish the party preparations!

Finding the love again!

2008-12-18T09:28:00.000-08:00

I am back! I have re-discovered the love for scrap booking!
I LOVE to scrapbook and with numerous surgeries these past few months I had thought that I would have so much time to scrapbook.
It turns out I was either too sick, too tired or just not feeling creative enough to do a page.
But the other night it just hits~ I MUST scrapbook, so off I toddle into my scrapbook room and don't come out for 5 hours! I had a ball,I played Christmas music on my computer, kids interrupted only a few times and I was on a roll! Until I looked at the clock and it read 1:00 am! Time flew by!
I am so happy that I am doing the things that I once enjoyed, life is certainly getting back to normal.

Picasso strikes again.

2008-12-10T16:31:00.000-08:00

I am at my wits end! My 4 year old daughter is really trying my patience.

As I have posted before, she likes to draw and not always on paper (remember the doll?) A few nights ago Trent went to tuck in the little angel and discovered that she had colored on her bookshelf and colored the eyes of Cinderella on her pillowcase! MY GOSH! I have already had the talk about "felt pens are for paper only" but yet again my parenting techniques have failed!

Just when I thought that she had finally understood that coloring on things other than paper was wrong and that punishment would be given....

I had some errands to do around town this afternoon, I had asked her if she could stay in her seat belt and listen to music while I snuck into the hospital to drop off my secret sister gift. She said she would if I let her out of the truck for the next stop.

We get to my mother-in laws so I could drop something off and get to her side of the truck and help undo the seat belt, I could tell something was not right...she kept hiding her hands! I took one look at her and KNEW by the look on her face that she had done something bad. Sure enough I looked at the inside of her door and she had colored almost the entire panel with a brown marker! Her hands were brown because she tried to wipe it off.Needless to say she did not get out of the truck. I really did not know what to say that I have not already said 100 times! I had told her that she disappointed me by coloring MY truck and sent her to her room till I could collect my thoughts. The felt pen did come off off the truck but that is the least of my worries... I have a child that refuses to listen and need a new plan!

"Perfect"

2008-12-02T10:04:00.000-08:00

All that know me and know me well know that I am particular. I like things just so. Things have a place you know! Well this morning I was reading a fellow bloggers story and it really made me think...

I had decorated our tree while the older girls were in school, Trent was at work and the little one was downstairs playing, all because I did`t want them to make my tree tacky. I had a vision (ok- I lied- I saw the most perfect Tree in a Country sampler Magazine) I had purchased each and every ornament carefully and am quite happy with how it turned out. Although the girls said they liked the tree it felt like some thing was missing.
When I was young we would all go out together as a family and get our tree, haul it home and we piled gobs of tinsel and school made decorations on it and my dad would strap a string of lights to EVERY branch! It had 20 different color ornements hanging- sometimes 2-3 per bow! Looking back... they were beautiful tree's!

A few nights ago Maddy and Peyton spent hours in the office printing Christmas pictures off the Internet and coloring the pages and then cutting out the pictures and taping them to a long blue string. They did a beautiful job and were so proud of their creativity. But I thought to myself (Where can I hang them? But they will not go with the theme of the rest of the house!) So the string of beautiful drawings and the hard work of two little girls hung in the office.

UNTIL today! I decided to hang it front and center in the living room and it looks wonderful! I think I may even be brave enough to go get another tree (small) and let the girls decorate it any way they please, of course this year it will have to go downstairs!
Today is a good day! Peyton and Maddy will be proud as punch with their artwork hanging front and center (where it should have been all along) Carliegh will be happy to go get a "real" tree with us and decorate it with what ever she wants. I am going to try and not be so anal about where things are put and what goes with what and just enjoy my children's creativity.

Bad mom?

2008-11-19T09:55:00.000-08:00

Since I had surgery in late October life has changed. I have been tired and really not able to do the things that once were part of my day. I have told patients myself after surgery that rest is the best medicine but having to tell yourself and listen is HARD.

I am thankful for the many friends and family that have either made us dinner, had us over for dinner, sent cards, sent flowers, came to our home to clean and to those of you for your prayers. I am most thankful to my husband for everything from doing my dressing changes to doing the dishes, he is truly amazing and in my opinion could make a good nurse!

I am also thankful to my children, for their patience and compassion. Carliegh and Maddy really stepped up to the plate and pitched in where they could and really attended to my every need. They didn't fight AS much as usual which stole my heart!
I felt really BAD for our youngest. Before surgery when I had days off you would find us doing crafts, baking cookies, reading books and so on. AFTER surgery I did alot of "holding down the couch" while she played quietly or watched TV. She would tell people that her job was to look after me and she really did. She would get me water, cover me with a blanket and rub me. I felt terrible that I was not capable of doing "our" special things together.

One morning not too long after surgery I decided that she would have a good day! I made cupcakes and let her decorate with what ever her little heart desired. I didn't care if she made a mess. I didn't care when I would be able to clean it up. I didn't care how much icing went on the cupcakes and how much went in her mouth- ALL that mattered was her having a good day!

At the end of the day EVERYBODY won... Peyton made beautiful cupcakes and was as proud as punch showing them to everybody, I was able to feel like a "good" mom, and Trent and the girls were thrilled to have cupcakes with gobs of icing!

Halloween

2008-11-19T09:47:00.000-08:00

This Halloween I found myself begging my Doctors to go home... I had major surgery on the 29th of October and was to be in the Hospital for at least 4 days. The thought of me not being there to see the girls in their costumes made me crazy. After much persuading I was able to convince the surgeon that I would take it easy and follow his directions. Trent came to pick me up and I was able to watch them get ready and leave the house with big smiles ready to trick or treat!

PS. We don't have pictures of our oldest because she is apparently at the age where trick or treating isn't a family thing and she chose to go with her friends after school.

The hair cut

2008-10-22T02:19:00.000-07:00

I never thought the day would come when we could actually bring her to the hairdresser for a HAIRCUT! The day she was born she had like 5 strands of hair , each year it would multiply although staying extremly fine and whispy. So imagine my exitement when the day finally comes that we can cut it! Sounds weird- we wait for 4 years for it to grow then in one flick of the scissors it is all but gone! Actually I think her new hair cut suits her very well and she is as proud as punch! Hey ya never know - maybe we should book another hair appointment for 4 years down the road!

Good-Bye Grandma xo

2008-10-17T20:12:00.000-07:00

My mom had called me from Red Deer, Alberta on a Monday stating that my Grandma had taken a turn for the worst. It was not a total surprise as she has suffered greatly from congestive heart failure for the past 6 months and had been hospitalized numerous times as a result. Peyton and I jumped in the truck on a Tuesday morning and drove to Red Deer and went to the hospital to see Grandma that afternoon. Grandma never complained although I could tell that she was struggling with every breath and craved more oxygen. I held her hand and brought her ice water, Peyton kissed her and had quite the conversation with Grandma's room mate. I told Grandma that I loved her. Grandma kept saying over and over "Why won't he take me? I jsut want to go!" and I would say " He is not ready for you yet Grandma."

My Grandma is and always has been devoted to her church and Jesus. As a child I can remember her playing her organ to a hymn book. Her bible literally had wear and tear and was never far from her. I swear she could recite the entire bible! A few summers she had taken my cousin and I to "Convention" at the time I thought it was terribly boring and didn't really understand alot of what had been spoken but just the same enjoyed being with other children and learning new things. The relationship that she had with God I never really understood until now.

That Tuesday night My mother and I went down to the hospital to spend some time with her as she didn't want to be alone and was asking for me. The nurses must have known that the end was near because they had put her in a private room. Grandma looked tired and was slowly deteriorating before our eyes. I had asked the nurse if Grandma could have a sedative as she was anxious and scared. She had settled down just before 9 pm and so mom and I sat there a tried to sing. At first we tried to remember a few songs from bible school (ex- the B-i-b-l-e, that is the book for me...) I know- silly! Then we tried to recite the Lords prayer... We really tried to make Grandma proud! When we couldn't think of any more songs and gave up on remembering the Prayer we sang Christmas Caroles- I know- silly! Just when we were at a loss of what else to sing in comes this angel... Her name is Anne and she is one of Grandma's friends from church, she had the most calm voice and she really looked like an angel! We asked Anne if she could sing from Grandma's Hymn book and she did with the most angelic voice you had ever heard, Grandma stopped moaning (probably because she was sick of hearing mom and I!) and went to a calmer place while Anne was singing. With Grandma settled we washed her up and have her a big kiss and told her we would be back in the morning. We had told the nurses to call us if she needed anybody overnight. Grandma went to be with the Lord a half an hour after we left that night.

I am thankful that she waited until I had been there and been able to share such a beautiful evening with her. I know she is in a better place and that God had welcomed her with open arms.

The next morning the family was teary and Peyton being only 4 really didn't know what everyone was crying for. I had told her that God had taken Great Grandma to heaven. She pipes up and says "Is god a boy or a girl?" ps. this is totally embarrassing... I really do see bible school in our future! I said" He is a man" she looks up at me and says " He really knows the way to Heaven?" and I said "Yes, of course he does." We had many people come to visit after Grandma had passed and she told everyone that Grandma went to heaven and that God knew the way and that Grandma was in Heaven with our cat Blacky. My Grandma would be proud of her!

My Grandmother was born July6th 1921 in Rimbey, Alberta. She was a mother to two sons, Grandmother to 4 , Great Grandmother to 6 plus one on the way. She was a friend to many. I always had such a respect for her as I knew she had worked so very hard when my dad was young and her husband had passed at a young age in a farm accident leaving her to care for 2 young boys and a farm to run. She did it without complaining and I know that she did it with God's hands. Even on her death bed she was worried about the people around her not herself. For years we had made fun of her for keeping 12 turkey carcasses in her freezer and dozens of banana's and saving every bit of left over but when you understand how hard she had worked and what she went without just to raise her boys and keep her farm-- I get it- I finally get it!

I will think of her often and remember all the good times, I will remember her smile and her gentle soft hands! I love you Grandma and will miss you so very much... I know you are in Heaven watching over us all. Till we meet again~

Finally! Sleeping through the night!

2008-09-27T21:11:00.000-07:00

As I was laying in bed last night I was thinking...mmmm, I don't remember the last time Peyton has woke up during the night??
You see: Peyton has NEVER slept through the night and she is almost 4 years old. I spent our first year together out in the living room with her bassinet and me sleeping on the couch because she would only sleep 20-30 minutes at a time and Trent would have to work early in the morning. It's not even like she had her days and nights mixed up- she wouldn't even sleep during the day.
Things got a little better after her first year but she still managed to need me or something in the middle of the night. I tried every advice that people would throw my way and NOPE she still would not go through the night.
Well life really must be busy because I really don't remember when she started sleeping through the night, perhaps a month or two ago?
I remember literally praying to god some of those sleepless nights that she even sleep through 5 hours, and he did answer my prayers almost 4 years later, but looking back I had some of the most tender moments just her and I on those sleepless nights pacing the floor,soothing her, and loving her. So I assume that god knew what was best for us after all~

Domestic Goddess- or not.

2008-09-20T18:04:00.000-07:00

Well today was a day where I really tried to be a domestic goddess- TRIED is the word of the day!

I tried to make bread... A friend from work had given me the most amazing recipe for pumpkin, sunflower bread and I said to myself " I could totally do this!" Don't get me wrong I love to cook and bake but have never really loved making bread or pastry.(maybe because my mom has already nailed down first place in that department.)

So I gather everything I need and make this bread (it looks great- it even rises!!) I divide the dough into 2 loaf pans and stick it in the oven - I ask myself "I don't remember if I have to let the bread rise again before baking? " mmmmm - thought about for a bit and then hucked it into the oven.

I turn the oven light and see my masterpiece - golden brown, smelling sooo good.... I take it out of the oven and I nearly broke my wrist! It was REALLY heavy. So maybe I should have let it rise again before baking??

My bread was cooling on the counter and I had to see if it tastes just like the loaf my friend has made for me. I spit it out! The sunflower seeds were rancid!

I really did put all my effort into making this bread... It looks really good and it smells good but unfortunately you don't want to eat it!

Lesson learned!

2008-09-18T13:25:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking alot lately of all my "new nurse" moments. I graduated from College only one year ago so I am still fairly new at the game. I will NEVER forget the time that we were in our third semester and having to do a shift on the surgical floor in a big city hospital, by this time we had pretty much seen it all and smelled it all.... but nothing could prepare me for this.

My partner and I were working together on our patient and performing HS care, (you must picture us dressed up in our infectious disease suits- gown, gloves, mask, and booties) We were wearing all the garb because our patient had c-diff (clostridium difficile; basically bacteria of the stool) We had learned about this in School and our teacher's had prepared us but even if they had told you it was the worst smell ever you would have never thought...

So my partner and I are getting our work done and we move down to the bottom of the patient and the smell hits you... I start dry heaving in my mask while we dig in and start cleaning up the bottom. The smell got so bad I had to move my way to the washroom as I was trying to be respectful of my patients feelings, I ended up vomiting in my mask and inhailing it up my nose and oohhh it gets better.....

I WET my pants! My partner didn't know the wiser till I came back out and asked if she could tell that I peed my pants....

Lesson learned... To wear Vicks under my nose to mask the smell!

I must say 95% of that program was blood, sweat and tears but the other was pure and genuine fun that will be with me forever!

High school

2008-09-16T09:27:00.000-07:00

This Year we have a child in HIGH SCHOOL!- yes , I am still trying to wrap my head around it. Carliegh is in grade 8 and just turned 13 this summer and growing into such a young lady (thinks so knows everything and has become somewhat mouthy!) Did this behaviour change overnight?? Or am I just seeing it now? Don't get me wrong she has always been an independent, respectful, beautiful and the most lovable little girl and still continues to have these amazing qualities, but something has changed~ Our little girl IS growing up. Just last night she was asking me " Should I take French next year too?" "Because I really want to go to College and become a Veterinarian" I said that we would have to look into it. She even said " We should look at schools near Grandma and Grandpa in Alberta so I can save on rent!" Note to self ~ Cherish every day... the day's where you want to pull your hair out and the days where you look at your child and think in amazement- SHE'S ALL MINE!

TOO quiet!

2008-09-13T12:18:00.000-07:00

It was a quiet morning...which striked me as ODD- Peyton is NEVER quiet. I called her name- no answer. MMM I wandered down the hallway and to my surprise there was one of her babies with the most colorful face, arms and legs! She wouldn't look at me when I asked " Peyton, why would you color your baby like this?" to which she answered " It is her birthday!" Well I started to laugh and ask " Would you like mommy to color your face , arms and legs for your birthday?" She looked up (That is when I noticed that she had already indeed colored her own face) and replied "No!"

I tried to scrub the doll's face with cleaner but she had used dry eraser markers and would not come off, I then tried to scrub her face (she was not happy! That stuff is hard to get off!) By the time daddy came home Peyton's face was all clean but the evidence of the "episode "was still on the baby... so if you see us uptown with this muli-colored baby(I really try to discourage her from taking this particular doll as it raises many questions) you will know the entire story and not have to ask!

PS- Between you and I - She did a good job on her face...She kinda looks like a "kitty"- who knows maybe she could get a job face painting at the carnival!

Maddy turns 10

2008-09-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

Well September the 9th of every year brings us to Madeleines birthday! I can not believe that she is 10 and in grade 5! Where does the time go?? It doesn't seem like 10 years ago I was holding this brand new perfect 7 lb 3 onz bundle of bliss!

This year we had 7 girls come over afterschool for a PARTY. The girls played hot potato, unwrap the present game, listened to Miley Cyrus CD and played some outside games as well.

We had ordered a Dairy Queen cake from Prince George and "Yummy" it was a hit with all! Maddy received so many gifts; webkins, i-pod, i-pod docking station, games, Cd's and a pile of money (to which we are opening up a bank account for). All of the children left by around 5:30 with their Hello Kitty loot bags filled with girlie things and candy! By this time I am EXHAUSTED, Trent has heard enough screams and girlie shrieks, Peyton is crying because all her new found "friends are leaving" and Maddy is just plain overwhelmed!

Maddy received many phone calls throughout the day to wish her a Happy Birthday from family that loves her dearly but live far away-

Every year I say "No more birthday party's- next year maybe just a sleep over with a few girls" but when I take a minute and reflect on the entire day I can see her smile and the excitement of hosting the "party" and I think...OK maybe one more!

A trip to remember.

2008-09-12T17:31:00.000-07:00

This summer my mom, my daughters Carliegh and Peyton and myself drove to Nelson, BC to have a visit with family. My children had never actually met most of my mothers side of the family, so it was far overdue!

It was a LOOONG drive , almost 1000km from where I live, not too sure if my mom will travel with me again ( She thinks I drive too fast!) But I assure you I am SAFE. The drive was beautiful, Carliegh listened to her i-pod and Peyton watched some DVD's and we were training her to say "Potlicker" (a name my uncle had used most of my childhood instead of my name!) My mom and I had plenty of time to talk which was nice.

We arrive in Nelson the first day and my dad had reserved the room for us to stay in for 5 nights... well it was a roof over our heads and it was clean but I should have clued in when my mom had said before we left " Your dad has reserved a room for us and it is the same hotel that we had our honeymoon in!"

My Grandfather had just moved into an assisted living complex and we went up the hill (my Aunt gave us wrong directions so we went up and down ALOT of hills) to see him. To my surprise he had not changed a bit! He was a little hard to understand (thick Polish accent) but other than that he looked really good and was super happy about his new living arrangements... Even befriending the local squirrels!

We spent the next few days visiting with my auntie and Uncles . The weather was horrible- rained most of the trip, but we managed to keep busy... Yes I did manage to shop!

On the second to last day we were invited to my Uncle's farm outside of Nelson and WOW- we had a blast... First off , my Uncle is a little..well shall we say CRAZY! As a child I remember him being the fun one, the one that would let us do almost anything and let me tell you he hasn't changed! Although he may have settled somewhat as he FINALLY got married to a wonderful gal last summer, he is still Uncle Chuck the "Pot Licker!" We had a blast feeding his pet cow "Jamie" apples, guessing how many piglets the neighbors sow would have, trying to pet his Lama and just good times had by all!

While I was there my cousin Diana had a birthday and asked if I wanted to cross the border to the States for some shopping- well I couldn't pass up on that, so my mom graciously offered to take the girls for the day and off we went. Although before we left my mom had warned my cousin that I LOVE to shop....

So she picks me up in this "little" car, and I am thinkin "how am I going to get my loot home?" I guess I would have to pace myself and not shop till I drop. So we stop at Target and she meets me at the till- the look on her face was priceless!! I had a cart that was overflowing!!! She is freakin "How are you going to get that in my car??" let me tell ya it is not the first time I have had to cram my purchases into a tight spot!

We went on to have a nice lunch at the "purple onion?" I think it was, all I remember is the onion rings were the size of my head!

I must say thanks to Diana for a great day and for letting me share in her day and draggin all my loot into the hotel room!

We had an amazing trip, spent time with loved ones and reminisced about old times! I am looking forward to another visit next year!

ADDICTED

2008-09-12T16:48:00.000-07:00

" Enough is Enough!" I hear it all the time... from my husband, my children and even my friends and family. Those who know me know I LOVE to shop and it is a "hobby" shall we say. Well I was cleaning out my closet and it hit me... how many necklaces do you really have?? Well I counted and before long I was past 70! Yes that is not a misprint...SEVENTY + ! Holy cow! And I know that there are probably more in the jewelry boxes. I really think that in this case my husband was right saying on a recent trip to the City " Do you really need that?" although I responded with "Of course, I don't have one like this, or it would look great with that new shirt I bought!" Of course I bought it anyway and really between wearing scrubs to work and being a mom to 3 girls, when do I really get dressed up? So I think either a) I grow another neck or b)put a halt to the addiction!

Don't know what you have till it's gone??

2008-09-12T15:25:00.000-07:00

You ever heard the saying " You don't know what you have till it's gone?" Well... My husband has his own logging business and yes he works very long hours but he does come home each and every night until... He took this temporary little camp job. He has been gone for only 3 days (2 nights) and I am lost! The power went out last night and I wanted to cry, me and the girls sat on the couch with candles burning all saying we missed him and then the three year old gets all teary and starts saying with a trembling voice "I miss my daddy" . Our dog Hunter even misses him, he has these big droopy eyes and looks so sad! He has not even touched his food he misses Trent so much. When the power went out Trent knows where all the flashlights are and lights the candles, he is not afraid of going to the basement if he has too but me on the other hand...I made the girls sleep in my room. It made me feel better plus they didn't complain either!
It is the little things that I take for granted, I miss his smile when he walks through the door and sees us after a long day, it is his warm body cuddling me and keeping me warm at night, I miss hearing his truck pull in the drive way and being so excited he is home. Well, he will hopefully be home tomorrow evening and we will have to tell just how much we missed him!